Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Mom sends

My favorite picture of my Son!
Today, it has been three months since Doogie’s accident. It has been the longest three months of my life. My only son, Doogie, knows how sad, how truly broken-hearted, and lonely his Mom has been. But I feel his presence often. He has learned of my great love for him. Yet, in the middle of a bowlful of tears, I’ve heard him scolding me for not being able to get "on top of it!"

On June 3rd at 2:38 a.m., I had a very special experience with Doogie. I heard him speak to me. It was sacred words that I will treasure until the day I die and see him again. Those words help me keep going when sometimes I’m able to live for only an hour at a time, even still.

In a dream I had (July 3rd - a month to the day he died), he "came" to see me, to tell me "Hi." He was literally glowing with happiness. In fact, he was happier than I had ever seen him, and I commented to him about how happy he was. He just smiled, that big smile he always gave you, when you knew he knew you were "right." I spoke with him and finally asked him to come and give me a hug. As he was walking over to hug me, my little "Ewok dog" (Doogie’s word for my little black Shih Tzu – Peiking) woke me up. I was so upset at Peek because I hadn’t gotten my hug. Later, I was given the impression that he will hug me when he comes for me. I long for that day!

He is able to speak to me "through the Spirit of the Holy Ghost", and I have been taught once again, in a fabulous way, that life goes on; that there is an eternal plan; that his death is part of that plan; and best of all that he is truly happy. There have been times when I still feel very sad, frustrated, angry, and even (surprisingly) indifferent because he is not physically here to fulfill his calling as a husband and father. Mostly, I feel so sad for his family, and pray that they are able to keep him close to their hearts and be able to go on without his presence. But he is able to encourage us- spiritually!

For those of you who have questions about where Doogie is, I KNOW where he is, and what he is doing. I know that he is very happy, and he wants us to be happy and live our lives to the fullest. This earthly jaunt is such a short time in the eternal scheme of things. It is our time to PASS the tests of life, so we can return once again to our Heavenly Home with our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. I’ve been promised that mine is a family, which will endure throughout eternity, if I live righteously and endure to the end of my earthly sojourn. Doogie now knows this as an eternal truth and is helping others learn it. None of us can live a perfect life, but let’s give it our best "shot". Doogie would be happy for all his friends and family to learn this truth and accept it in this life! He agrees that we should all give the Lord a "reason to bless us!"

May I give my love to everyone who knew Gordon Lynn Hyde II, my Doogie, in this life. Your love, words of encouragement and especially prayers have helped our family in ways you can’t imagine. Thank you!

Proud to be Doogie’s Mom,
Joyce Bradford (Hyde) Fackrell